Being childfree is becoming more widely accepted in our society. Not all women would be ready to transform into a mother and go through enormous changes in their personal life. In such a case, it is important to respect each and every women’s opinion and choice. Many people might not find such a mannerism appropriate and put forward their own opinion about a women’s choice o have a child or not, they might think that the consequences of their opinion are harmless. But in reality, it may hurt the other women.
Madam360 completely supports the idea that everyone’s decision matters and needs to be respected. That’s why we have chosen a delicate topic to discuss on how to behave when someone you know chooses to not become a mother.
10 Things Not To Say to Childless Women
1. “You’ll never know what true love is, if you don’t have kids”
People believe that a child’s love is impeccable and no other love is equivalent to a mother-child love. Which may be true, but not for all. Love is a complex feeling, some can deeply love their partners,friends and family members. Saying that mother-child love is the only love is rather one -sided. There are parent-child relationships filled with adoration and respect, while there are examples of parent-child relation which aren’t deeply rooted with love and respect.
2. “You are being selfish.”
If a women decides not to have a child she’s regarded as a selfish women who doesn’t care about what other want. This implies that those women who have kids are selfless and self-sacrificing, while everyone is just self-centered. Although as there are two sides o a coin, many women may not be able to provide financial and emotional support for children. So if a women knows that she won’t make a good mom and won’t be able to provide a stable future to her child, it shouldn’t be regarded as selfish. In fact it’s a well thought choice.
3. ” Child will change your life for better”
People have a perception that footsteps of your child in your life brings in a lot of changes. Yes, agreed but it’s hard to tell whether the change will be good or bad. Being highly subjective, some women may not be able to cope with such a drastic change in life, to have their routine shuffled, going through sleepless nights, having a messier space, no time for self, sacrificing etc. So if a women decides not to have a child, it’s completely correct on her part to think so as maybe she won’t be content with such drastic life change.
4. “Do you dislike children?”
Most of the times, when a women decides to be childfree she is often quizzed if she hates children. However, this may not be true always, such women make amazing godmothers or aunts, infact will take utmost care and will always be there as a saviour for their little munchkins. They can love them, care for them, spoil them even when they have decided not to be mothers themselves.
5. “You haven’t achieved anything if you don’t have kids.”
Our society often portrays childless women as someone who has complications and defects, and stereotypes may tell you that a women should have a husband, a child and grow her family. Not matching to this stereotype, women are often regarded in a bad light. However, it’s really essential to respect each and every women’s ides of womenhood. Womenhood just doesn’t mean to get married and have procreation, the feeling of womenhood may be different for others. The feeling of being complete may be different for all, so it’s good to be receptive and give everyone room to choose what they want and what makes them feel fulfilled.
6. “Who’s going to call me a grandmother/ grandfather?”
Some grandparents desperately keep on asking their daughters or daughter in laws about this, but this question can be pressurizing and not even 1 percent innocent. Having a child is a huge responsibility and requires a women to undergo lot of changes in a women’s life. So, if a women’s not ready for this, respect her choice. It’s important to comprehend that it’s pretty inappropriate to keep on pressurizing your daughter for a grandchildren just to make you happy.
7. “You will remorse not having children when you get older.”
The common misconception prevailing in our society is that, a childfree women will feel lonely and dissatisfied with their lives later. “who will take care of you when you will be ailing?” , “Don’t you want your children to take care of you when you grow old?” -these are the basic questions that are often spawned at them. However, a childfree women have a lot of things that may find her happiness in a million other forms i a long term. They have more time to concentrate on themselves and their own development, career, relationship, and friends.
8. “ Your purpose in life is waste then”
Our society strongly believes that a women is meant to provide a child and grow her family. According to them, a family isn’t a family if there’s no child.” A women is meant to be a mother”,” A women is empowered to grow her family” However, isn’t it truly a women’s choice whether she wants to evolve as a mother or not? Our world has changed, and today happiness isn’t just a family with children but other goals that a women aspires to achieve in life. Some women might be happy in raising their children, staying at home and doing chores, while someone else sees happiness from another spectrum, they find freedom and happiness in travelling, achieving their goals and living carefree.
9. “Think about your man, he wants to leave a legacy behind”
A legacy may not just be a child, it can be some accomplishment too. The idea of leaving something meaningful when you kick the bucket evolves with new generations. Some men don’t fathom the connection between “legacy” and having children. For them, as for their partner, leaving something behind can be done with other things that they’ve decided to accomplish in their lifetime.
10. ” You can’t understand our emotions since you don’t have children”
Some mothers try to keep their distance from childfree mothers from their friend circle as they believe that those who don’t have children won’t be able to sympathize and understand their emotions. They are also afraid that might influence the children of other mothers. However, having a child or not, many women love to listen and understand better than any other women with children. Childfree women have a different perspective and will provide you an unusual solution that you may not have ever thought.
What are your opinions on this? Is it a taboo to be a childfree women?